The raging hormones during the teenage years make children fall prey to emotional upheavals at times. These outbursts can stem from various circumstances, which include feeling frustrated, sensing a threat or receiving unfair treatment. One such trigger for extreme anger is bullying, which was the case for Rakesh Mishra’s 15-year-old son, who developed anger issues after being bullied in school.
The Mishra family, who reside in Mumbai, are not natives of the city. “The native kids in my son’s school used to make fun of this cultural difference and instigated him to react in an aggressive manner. He had frequent outbursts of anger at home, and could not focus on his studies,” shares the worried father. Mishra’s son is now going to therapy to resolve his anger issues.
Despite the implementation of strict anti-ragging policies, bullying in schools continues to be on the rise, especially with the advent of cyberbullying. A study published by Banaras Hindu University in January 2023 found that the prevalence of bullying in India stands at a staggering 50–60 per cent. Bullying can have adverse consequences on children’s mental health if not addressed at the earliest.
Bullying in schools
“Bullying in schools can be verbal, emotional, physical and even cyber abuse. It can happen at all ages,” says Zenobia Rustomfram, counsellor, Indian School of Business & Nasr School, Hyderabad, who has over twenty years of experience as a school counsellor. She adds that it is usually an older child who takes on the role of bullying someone younger than them.
“In lower classes, like the first grade, bullying is done by isolating a child or passing nasty comments about them. As they reach middle school, bullies usually gang up and deliberately isolate that person, spread rumours about them, lock them up and tease them,” mentions Rustomfram.
What is cyberbullying?
With the increasing popularity of social media among school kids and the change from traditional classroom setting to online classes during the pandemic, cyberbullying has come to the forefront, says Dr Fabian Almeida, psychiatrist, Fortis Hospitals, Mumbai.
“Cyberbullying is worse in the sense that rumours go viral quickly within the social circle of the person being bullied,” he adds. Someone’s personal details including photos are misused to troll them online.
Bullying in schools: Signs parents should look out for
A bullied child’s physical as well as emotional safety and security is at stake, says Poorva Ranade, child psychologist, Apollo Cradle & Children’s Hospital, Bengaluru.
“Kids as young as five years of age would not have even developed the vocabulary to express how they feel. It is thus crucial to recognise the signs that might indicate their failing mental health due to bullying in school,” she explains.
Rustomfram lists the different signs that parents should look out for, which include:
- Changes in their thought and behaviour, suddenly being silent and busy with themselves
- Returning home with things missing
- Returning with unexplained bruises on the body
- Reluctance to go to school
- Sudden anger outbursts or crying spells
- Lack of attention in studies
- Loss of appetite
- Sleep disturbances
“When a child feels cornered, their self-esteem is affected, and they lose confidence in themselves,” says Dr Almeida. “They feel angry at themselves for not being able to fight back the bullies,” he adds.
Bullying in schools: How to stop it?
“Schools need to increase awareness by conducting seminars or workshops, which should include both parents and kids,” says Dr Almeida.
Rustomfram says that most bullies come from disturbing home environments, so parents need to take conscious steps to be role models of the behaviour they want their children to exhibit. “Kids observe and learn from their parents’ behaviour. If parents create a hostile and agitated environment at home [like having hurtful verbal conversations], kids are likely to follow and do the same in schools,” she adds.
Recognising that your child might be a bully is just as crucial. Thus, parents need to look out for cues in their children, which can be indicative of them being bullies. “If you notice your child being dominating during play activities, you need to address it immediately, as they might exhibit the same behaviour in school,” explains Rustomfram.
What can parents do?
One of the most important things for parents is to build an open communication with their kids from a young age. “Telling them to ignore the bullies is not the right way to handle the situation. It is important to acknowledge their feelings, as this fosters a sense of security and trust for them to share their feelings with you,” mentions Dr Almeida.
Ranade encourages parents to work towards increasing their child’s sensitivity to criticism along with inculcating a sense of confidence and independence. “You need to teach your child how to address a stressful situation by themselves, which is an important coping skill. Instead of making your child dependent on you to fight their battles, teach them the skills to fight it themselves,” she explains.
However, this does not mean that parents should tell their kids to fight back when they do not know how to. “Do not ask your kids to ignore the bullies. Listen to their smallest concerns and work together to find a way to resolve them. The communication should always be open, which allows your kids to reach out to you whenever they require support,” shares Ranade.
Takeaways
- Bullying in schools has been on the rise despite the implementation of strict anti-ragging policies.
- Signs that parents should look out for to realise that their child is being bullied include sudden anger outbursts, reluctance to go to school and loss of appetite.
- Parents should have open communication with their children and look out for cues which can be indicative of them being bullies or being bullied.
