In Vikramadithya Shivaraman’s journey to reshape his self-image, a change of clothes and a dash of hair dye helped him see himself with new eyes. Shivaraman went through two depressive episodes in 2022. Plus, he was on a challenging weight loss journey, having shed 30kg in two years. “I weighed over a 100kg. The physical weight was only a representation of the emotional weight that was being held down. The pain was real and debilitating,” he says.
As he worked to change his body and mind, he left his dressing style unaltered – he wore either baggy or tight clothes that revealed his paunch. The tipping point came when he coloured his hair pink. The dramatic change set the ball rolling for a wardrobe upgrade – he picked up new suits, casuals, sportswear, and shoes.
“It was a more accurate representation of my new self-image. But now it was not only about how I saw myself mentally. Physically, there was a much more capable, confident, and happy person standing in front of the mirror,” he says.
A psychologist by training, Shivaraman works to help others develop confidence in themselves. “I’ve found that wearing good fitting, presentable clothes is not just a sign that you like to take care of yourself, it reminds you of what you have worked for,” he says.
KINDLING A NEW HOPE
Many current-day notions of how men and women “should” dress are entirely in the mind – pink and blue were not considered women’s and men’s colours until the 20th century. The history of gendered clothing is littered with exceptions – American cowboys wore high heels, ancient Greeks wore skirts, and Chinese and Japanese as far back as 3000BC wore nail polish.
However, tales of clothes-bullying abound today. For Harsh Kedia, founder of A Diabetic Chef, a food brand for diabetic chocolates, childhood was a constant affair of being shamed for his colourful printed clothes – which some friends and family members felt, clashed with his dark skin. Moreover, he was body shamed. As a result, he defaulted to wearing black, blue or grey clothes that were either too loose or too tight.
Kedia’s decision in adulthood to wear what he liked left him liberated. “Colours accentuated my personality and made me feel better in terms of how I look,” Kedia tells Happiest Health.
Kedia today wears a colourful mélange of clothes. His choice in fashion leads many to ask if he is a stylist – which he attributes to general perceptions about gendered clothing. Ironically, the coloured prints he had wanted to don all his life are now in vogue, made popular by the likes of Ranveer Singh and other influencers.
This colourful trend can be seen in the late-night parties of music producer and “nightlife entrepreneur” Raka Ashok, 31. He wants his energy to introduce itself in the room. “I need to feel confident at all times,” he says. Like with music, he sees fashion as piecing together different sounds to compose a tune.
“I like expressing myself through bold, solid colours, and usually switch it up with textures in fabrics, and maybe couple those with accessories that suit me. Much like piecing together different sounds to compose a tune,” he says.
In a heartfelt LinkedIn post, Kedia wishes he could go back in time and tell his 16-year-old self to wear what he wants. “Colours bring out the best in him,” he writes. “I think one should introspect about things that one says to people regularly that might affect their mental health. A little maturity and self-love can make this easier for those on the receiving end of this and (make) life easier for the ‘fat/dark skinned boys,’” he adds.
DRESS FOR MENTAL HEALTH
Can changing how you dress, change how you feel? Like so many trends in health and wellness, TikTokers lead the way in experimentation: welcome “dopamine dressing” to your vocabulary for 2023. The trend incorporates joy-inducing “popping” colours. From TikTokers touting its mood-boosting effects to Anya Taylor-Joy donning a bright yellow dress to the 2023 Golden Globes, dressing for a better mood is trending in the here and now.
But the memo escapes many men, for whom daily fashion choices range from grey to black, with some blue on occasion as a naughty afterthought. To change this, Ashok recommends investing in a good fit – and keeping things playful. “People love a man, who knows how to have fun in any setting. Wear well-made pieces that not only are comfortable but make you feel confident about yourself,” he says. “Don’t be afraid to experiment, but also be aware of who you really are and figure your fit accordingly.”
THE CHOICE MATTERS
It would be too simplistic to say that our choice of clothing affects our mood, says Paras Sharma, director of Bengaluru based therapy-providers, The Alternative Story. “I would say that NOT having the choice to decide what to wear and how to express our identity through our physical appearance causes a significant amount of dissonance, discomfort, and dysphoria to varying degrees for people,” he says.
Wearing a certain kind of clothing by and in itself will not and cannot change how you feel, he adds. “The context matters. A non-binary person being forced to adhere to a binary gendered dress code will have worse mental health than when they can choose how to dress without fear of any negative consequences for example,” he says.
Professional mental health advice may not suggest a shopping spree for colourful textiles. “Sometimes, one can be asked to change into a clean set of clothes every day as a self-care goal…or dress up occasionally to shake things up. However, the clothing itself does not bring about the change,” Sharma says.
A quote often attributed to the late fashion icon Coco Chanel states that a woman who changes her hair is about to change her life. To paraphrase it to be about a change of clothes would not be a huge leap – sometimes, in the pursuit of happiness, a new look can go a long way.
But always keep in mind that it is what is inside that counts. “A well-dressed GOAT (slang for Greatest of all Time) is still a GOAT underneath,” Shivaraman quips. His makeover, documented by a professional photoshoot, was just the beginning for his personal reinvention. Sometimes when the sky is the limit, you got to dress the part.
This article was first published in the March 2023 issue of the Happiest Health magazine. To read more such stories subscribe to the magazine, please click here.
