Remember. Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.” This iconic line in the 1994 film, The Shawshank Redemption, reminds us that of all the emotions and attributes that we possess, the power of hope is supreme. The protagonist, Andy Dufresne, is wrongly convicted of murder and doomed to rot in prison for years. And yet, the man does not lose hope. He not only plans his own escape to justice but also helps his fellow inmates find hope and redemption in their own lives. Hope is a universal experience. It builds faith and assurance and shows us how strong we can be, motivating us to work on ourselves and better our lives.
TALK TO HEAL
TUSHAR RAJ, 31, brand strategist as diagnosed with bipolar disorder type 1 in 2011, but he did not let it define his life. Growing up in both New Delhi and Lucknow, he adapted to changes in cities and schools from childhood. He began experiencing small episodes of depression from a very young age.
After completing schooling in 2009, Raj enrolled for a bachelor’s degree in Bengaluru. It was in his third semester that he went through his first manic episode. “After the episode, I returned to Lucknow for treatment and was back in Bengaluru to complete my course,” Raj recalls.
Though he faced many challenges, he maintains that bipolar disorder is a manageable condition. Acknowledging his family’s support, he adds, “I’m lucky to have them in my life.”
Raj’s path to understanding his condition involved research, both online and offline. Through the highs and lows, he found solace in meditation, yoga, and of course, medication. But the power of sharing with support groups helped him immensely as it served as a platform to W talk of his experience freely with people of the same ilk.
Raj’s journey has led him to contribute to mental health initiatives—to create awareness and a platform for discussions. “I am trying my best to become a mental health promoter,” he says. “The goal is to create a safe space for everyone, where they can talk about mental health freely. It is important to talk to friends, to family and experts. Read books about it. Try to understand.” For Raj, hope is “the availability of family and friends’ support in dark times. Hope is a scenario where my employer or professor is considering me just like any other individual. Hope is that I develop a strong mindset and control my depressive episodes.”
THROUGH THICK AND THIN
SIMRAN MEHROTRA 26, Pune-based associate at Teach for India ecalls her days at an international boarding school as a bittersweet time in her life. It was her first time living away from home; experiencing her first bout with love; finding her footing in academics, extra-curriculars; cultivating a social life; and beginning to form a sense of individuality.
Recognising that she had anorexia dawned on her gradually. “I first realised that I had a fraught relationship with food in 2014, but I know that it had started much before that,” she says. “When I was going through it, I didn’t even know it was a problem, or a struggle. It was just unconsciously a part of my life. I just thought this is how things are,” says Mehrotra.
But she recalls how her relationship with her body image had a role to play in the condition. When she began losing weight and turned skinny, she would often be complimented by those around her for her weight loss. “This reinforced my unhealthy way of thinking about food. I kept being told that I was looking great because I was losing weight. No one knew that I wasn’t losing weight in a healthy way. I was losing it because I was eating nothing more than one packet of chips a day,” she says.
Her friends noticed her sparse eating habit and they asked her to eat in front of them while they watched. That is when Mehrotra recognised that she was struggling and reached out to her teacher and parents for help.
She began taking individual and group counselling to tackle the problem. “My mother moved in with me for six months, and her love, care, and the routine she provided helped me recover and cultivate a healthier relationship with food,” says Mehrotra.
In retrospect, she emphasises the role of a strong social support in overcoming her struggle.
For Mehrotra, hope has been a constant in her life. “Hope means the optimism of always building on myself to be healthier, safer, more comfortable and be my truest self always. The hope is to reach a point where the want of external validation doesn’t limit me. Until that happens, hope keeps me going,” she says.
THE DIVERSE MIND
ESHWAR GAJENDRA, 26, from Bengaluru, analyst at a private firm is passion for chemistry propelled him to complete his masters in the subject and land a job as an analyst. However, he found that he had attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), a condition which he initially found difficult to confront. “At first, I was hesitant to even explore ADHD,” recalls Gajendran. But he realised that diagnosis was not about justifying symptoms, it was about understanding and finding ways to cope. “Unless I actually get a diagnosis, there is no explanation. And if there is no explanation, there is no way to deal with the issue,” he says.
Recently, Gajendran was also diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder (ASD). Explaining his internal struggle with both H ADHD and ASD, he says, “With ASD, you tend to get obsessive about certain things. But with ADHD, it is really difficult to actually maintain something that you don’t necessarily find very interesting.” He has also had to fight societal misconceptions and the stigma attached to the conditions. “People assume you are not living up to your potential, but this often accompanies neurodivergent conditions. It’s not that there’s something wrong with you. Your brain works differently,” he explains.
Therapy played a major role in Gajendran’s adjustment. “It helped with self-reflection,” he emphasises.
His counsellor helped him in recognising patterns of self-criticism and how to navigate it. The sessions became a space for evaluation and strategy building. He also learned the importance of self-acceptance. “Accepting that there are certain things you can’t change is not easy,” he says. “Once you reach that stage, you stop caring about how people perceive you.”
Following a proper diet, regular exercises, and maintaining a diary also helped. His advice to others is not to clutter chores; to focus on the task at hand, be it watching a movie or playing a game.
For Gajendran, hope is the eventuality where differences in cognition are recognised for the strengths that they do confer, rather than ostracising individuals for the weaknesses that they cannot help. “I also long to see a world where anguish is recognised for what it is rather than dismissed as being a dramatic fit, and meltdowns are viewed as situations that call for empathy and understanding rather than a scary situation that calls for everyone to distance themselves from the person who is already struggling.”
“The focus should be on how you feel, not your label,” he concludes.
LESSONS FROM ANIMALS
KALYANI R 25, animal rescuer and virtual assistant, hailing from Vaikom, Kerala, knew from a young age that she was somehow different. “I couldn’t relate to other people around me, and I never felt understood,” she says. She grew up surrounded by conflict in her personal life. As she grew older, she would often experience flashbacks and nightmares from her childhood. “I think I tried to cope with all of that by wanting to feel that I am not myself,” she says.
She remembers when she first began to dissociate, an experience common to those diagnosed with borderline personality disorder (BPD). In a particular incident, she looked in the mirror and could not recognise the reflection of the person looking back at her. “I knew this girl in the mirror had a name; I knew what her experiences were; but I felt like I was K looking at her from far away. I did not feel connected to my body and felt like I was looking at myself from the outside,” she recalls.
Alongside BPD she was also diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Understanding the symptoms of both and coming to terms with the way they have affected her life, helped her make sense of what she had been going through. “I felt liberated because I could now understand the reason why I was feeling a certain way,” she says.
While this experience terrified her, she did not have the resources, or access to information to make sense of what was happening. As she grew older, and got a formal diagnosis, she began to make sense of her experiences. But before that, she had found solace in reading and writing. She also emphasises the huge role that animals played in her journey of healing. “Animals taught me compassion, and they taught me that even if they are aggressive, it is because they have been hurt. And this view made me so much more compassionate to the people around me,” she says. “Their love taught me to be kinder to myself. I learned that it is okay to stand up for my life and those around me, and I learned to be gentle and nurturing,” she says.
For Kalyani, hope has taken different forms. “Hope is like a road I didn’t know how to walk on. For a long time, I felt lost; it was something distant,” she says. Faced with a difficult family life, bullying, and loneliness, hope was something which was hard to fathom for her. “Hope didn’t suddenly arrive; it’s been a slow journey. It started with letting myself feel down, without beating myself up for it,” says Kalyani. “Hope, to me, isn’t a big fancy idea. It has come from pain, from getting back up, from love, from understanding that healing isn’t always fast, but every little step counts. Hope is like a warm hand on a cold day, reminding me that it’s okay to feel and to heal,” she says.
THE POWER OF LIFTING THE FOG
SHRUTI MISHRA 32, a scientist and amateur powerlifter from Delhi pursuing a PhD in molecular biology as lived with depression though a formal diagnosis only came when she began therapy in 2021.
Having friends from a psychological background aided her self-awareness. “I recognised the symptoms with their help and eventually started taking therapy,” Mishra says. “Therapy has helped me a lot. I’ve become better at having a sense of self-esteem to begin with,” adds Mishra.
When she went through a bad phase, it was like walking through a thick fog. “It felt like my hands and legs were tied and I couldn’t walk. I try to walk and then I trip, and I fall because, well, I’m tied,” she explains.
Amidst the struggle, Mishra rediscovered her love for powerlifting. “I used to keep looking at videos of people lifting weights. But on some days, I wouldn’t have it in me to even get out of bed. Then, one day I decided, forget lifting, I’ll just go for a walk,” she says. And that was the turning point in her personal fight. She began with short walks that eventually led her to powerlifting, even winning a gold medal at the State level!
Her suggestion to others is to start with small steps. “It doesn’t have to be great; it just has to be something small.”
For her, hope is like a tiny ray of light that shines through the darkness. Hope is acknowledging to herself that she needs help. “I don’t know if it is a coincidence but, the moment I acknowledge this, somehow somebody just messages or somebody calls [to help],” says Mishra. This serves as a reminder to her that help is out there if only, she would reach for it.
It is apparent that hope sustained each one of these heroes. You see it in Raj who aims to advocate mental health awareness.
In Gajendran, it is a quest for a world that recognises cognitive differences as strengths rather than shortcomings. Mehrotra seeks hope to be her true self, whereas Kalyani embraces it as a comforter. And for Mishra, it is the certainty that hope is just a call away.
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