Delhi-based Sanya Verma’s (name changed) pursuit of productivity went beyond just ticking off tasks on a checklist. As a student of gender studies, she found fulfilment in being fully engaged throughout her day. Her journey was not always marked by quantifiable measures, but rather by the emotional gratification that accompanies the completion of every task. This contentment stood apart from the challenges prevalent in a world fixated on tangible outcomes. But without tangible outputs she was struggling with a wavering metric. Later she went towards the yardstick of SMART (specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound) goals.
Kamakshi S, 24, from Jaunpur, shared a similar narrative. Enrolled in a prestigious institution alongside high-achieving peers, she found herself grappling with her capabilities and an impostor syndrome, a consequence of societal emphasis on constant achievement. In spite of her dedication, the recognition she sought eluded her often. It left her fatigued and burdened by a sense of guilt.
In hindsight, she says that while working in an environment where everyone exudes excellence, competition can creep in to affect a person’s self-esteem.
Termed productivity guilt, this internal strife stems from a clash of efforts and an absence of expected results. between efforts that do not always manifest in tangible results. Amidst this intricate interplay between emotional satisfaction and tangible results, Kamakshi says that finding a way to overcome productivity guilt becomes important for not just her but everyone in similar situations.
Luckily both Verma and Kamakshi found ways to overcome and tackle their respective productivity guilts. They share their insights with Happiest Health.
Define what it means to you
Verma sees herself as a workaholic. Her experience of productivity guilt and related patterns of thinking came during the pandemic. Although she was safe and secure, knowing about others starting new ventures during the pandemic made her feel guilty about doing nothing.
However, seeing people lose either their loved ones or jobs to COVID-19 compelled Verma to revise her priorities. A crucial realisation hit her and made her get over the guilt of not being constructive at all times: that “productivity is not the end goal of life.”
Managing expectations around productivity allows better relationships with oneself and others. Both Kamakshi and Verma discovered that they could naturally manage perceptions about stress; and challenge the assumptions related to their productivity guilt.
This ability to handle one’s perceptions of productivity-related stress is denoted as cognitive flexibility by Melanie Greenberg, PhD, an expert on stress management.
Balance of capacity and demands
Both Kamakshi and Verma have stretched themselves, beyond their respective capacities so as to meet the expectations of their peers, and often out of obligation or guilt. Work was largely about gaining validation and asserting their self-worth.
“I used to feel proud to be known as the girl who does all the work,” says Verma. While recovering from a major surgery a few months ago, thoughts of comparison with peers dominated her, and anxiety led her to be on campus while still recovering, again exceeding her capacity to be productive.
What does balancing one’s capacities mean? It is when you understand you are comparing your self-worth and efficacy with those of people from completely different social, economic, mental and emotional positions as yours, and realising “that kind of comparison is not fair.”
Verma emphasises that the difference in exhaustion experienced by two people doing the same task does not invalidate the one being more tired. Balancing her capacities has allowed her to scrub the guilt and be considerate to herself.
Being smart with SMART goals
When guilt is unavoidable, anxiety shows up with questions about her future, making Kamakshi feel like a fraud. “The moment you’re unable to keep up [with the work] or you slow down, the guilt will set in,” she says.
Kamakshi set time-bound goals and attached meaning to goals. Verma used an extended version of such goals, referred to as SMART goals (specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound), which breaks big goals into smaller, manageable tasks.
Social pillars
Kamakshi has found constant support from peers who have been in the same boat, navigating the same storm of challenges with productivity. “Sometimes just someone understanding is enough,” she says.
Productivity guilt is common and brings forth many critical questions about one’s capacities and priorities. Productivity and goal-setting first need compassion for oneself and others even as we keep in mind our strengths and limitations.
