In today’s ever-evolving dating landscape, a new concept has emerged that has captured the attention of many and won the approval of Zoomers. This non-committal relationship pattern, known as a situationship, feeds on ambiguity and frequently leaves people in a state of emotional limbo.
Madithaty Sri Harshitha,23, from Hyderabad, found herself immersed in an array of emotions. What began as an encounter at the gym unfolded into a spontaneous connection, devoid of the traditional trappings of commitment.
However, as time passed, she yearned for something more concrete, a commitment that would validate our bond. “Yet, whenever the topic of exclusivity or future plans arose, we would evade it, brushing it off as unnecessary pressure,” says the fashion student.
Happiest Health explores the complexities of such a relationship and provides guidance to prioritise your mental health while navigating through the uncertainties.
What is a situationship?
While such a dynamic may be appealing, it can play a crucial role in one’s mental health and overall well-being. This dynamic is primarily characterised by ambiguity around the nature of the relationship. Delhi-based couple’s therapist Shivani Misri Sadhoo says, “This typically occurs when two people engage in a connection that is more than a friendship but falls short of a committed relationship.”
This type of relationship, she says, often lacks labels, commitment, or expectations for the future, leaving the individuals uncertain about the nature of their connection. They may arise due to various factors such as fear of commitment, timing, or a lack of mutual agreement on relationship expectations.
Will they, won’t they commit
According to Sadhoo, some characteristics of this dynamic are:
- Ambiguity
- Lack of commitment
- Undefined boundaries
- Absence of clear labels
- Uncertain future expectations
- Lack of exclusivity
- Sporadic or inconsistent communication
Unlike committed relationships, this dynamic often lacks support and stability leaving the individuals in a state of emotional confusion, frustration, and uncertainty.
The emotional turmoil
According to Monika Mande, therapist from Bengaluru, the biggest challenge in such relationships is unpredictability. “Some people may find the lack of rules liberating, but the uncertainty often leads to a lot of turmoil and conflict in a relationship,” she says.
Sadhoo concurs that without clear boundaries or expectations, emotions of an individual can be unpredictable and volatile. “One person may become more invested while the other remains emotionally distant, leading to frustration, confusion, and a rollercoaster of emotions,” she says. Moreover, it can prevent individuals from moving forward in their lives and seeking more fulfilling relationships.
For Harshitha, it was a constant rollercoaster of emotions. Some days, she convinced herself that the current relationship was enough and that she should embrace the freedom it offered. “But on some days doubts and insecurities crept in, leaving me questioning my worth and desiring a deeper emotional connection,” she says.
Eventually, Harshitha accepted that the ambiguity of the relationship was holding her back from finding more fulfilling relationships. “I wanted someone who would commit shared goals without the ambiguity that defined our relationship,” she says.
The way forward
Sadhoo suggests the following strategies for coping:
- Self-reflection: Take time to understand personal needs, boundaries, and desires to ensure clarity.
- Communication: Engage in open and honest conversations with the partner to establish expectations, define boundaries, and express emotions.
- Self-care: For emotional well-being, prioritise self-care activities such as exercise, hobbies, spending time with friends, and seeking support from trusted individuals.
- Set time limits: Establish time limits to avoid getting stuck indefinitely and encourage personal growth.
- Explore other connections: Remain open to exploring connections with other potential partners who may align better with long-term goals and desires.
- Seek support: Reach out to friends, family, or seek professional guidance to gain insights, validation, and advice in navigating the complexities of this dynamic.
Mande suggests evaluating the reason behind such a relationship and asking oneself how long it will last. Being in this situation indefinitely, she says, is not sustainable. Asking oneself these questions can help to introspect and prioritise oneself.
