Diabetes is a metabolic condition that can cause various complications including nephropathy, sleep disturbances, and mental health issues. People with diabetes usually experience a lot of these issues which affect their day-to-day life. This makes it difficult for them to be motivated and they may end up feeling guilty, especially if they do not have a support system or positive emotional support and motivation.
Why do people with diabetes feel guilty?
Dr Satyam Chakraborty, consultant, endocrinology, Fortis Kolkata states that people with diabetes may feel guilty because it is a condition that will continue for life; even those who manage to put it in remission could suffer a relapse if they don’t sustain their strict and healthy dietary and lifestyle regime. It also has a strong familial inheritance (they might feel judged and feel guilty being a part of the family with this condition). People who have an extremely indiscipline lifestyle might feel guilty that if they had been more disciplined, they wouldn’t have got diabetes.
“They are judged and blamed by people that tell them they are not following the right lifestyle, or that they have been having too many sweets or fast food etc, and that they are responsible for the condition they have,” says Aruna Kulkarni, PhD, psychologist and corporate consultant, founder, director of My Mind Matters. She adds that this makes them feel guilty because they start doubting themselves after hearing people say such things.
Experts say that people with diabetes may also experience denial once they are diagnosed with it. “They might say that the reports are wrong and not accept that they have diabetes,” says Chakraborty. The first reaction of people to long term diseases that cannot be cured is denial, which can also cause diabetic rage.
People with diabetes are also at a higher risk of developing depression as diabetes and its complications can be exhausting and overwhelming. “People with long standing diabetes may experience depression,” says Dr Chakraborty. This also happens as they feel guilty that they could not control their sugar levels.
Kulkarni adds that the more guilty one feels, the more their stress increases, and this in turn causes them to binge on unhealthy food making it even more difficult to manage diabetes. “It is important to not get stressed out while trying to manage it and acceptance is one of the biggest keys to success,” she adds.
How to deal with the guilt resulting from diabetes?
A recent study published by Diabetes Spectrum, one of the official peer reviewed journals of American Diabetes Association states that most people with diabetes could tend to suffer from diabetes guilt and not shame as it is often wrongly interpreted.
Kulkarni explains that one should let go of what people are saying about them. “For their own good, they need to look at this as a condition rather than a problem and work on managing it,” she adds.
If there is a family history of diabetes, the entire family can adopt a healthy lifestyle and diet. “This helps reduce guilt, and they can also prevent their children from developing diabetes,” adds Dr Chakraborty.
“Unlike years ago, a lot of people today are talking about diabetes reversal. This could help one feel less guilty as now they have a community, and they can manage the condition and go back to their previous self,” says Kulkarni.
Experts also explain that while constantly keeping track of everything can help some overcome guilt, it may not be the same for everyone. “There are people who feel less guilty by not looking at the numbers. Once someone gets caught into the numbers, they start feeling even more guilty,” says Kulkarni. Instead, they can eat what they want occasionally (unless it is harmful to them) but watch their portions without worrying too much. Kulkarni adds that the best way to control urge is to relish whatever little that one eats so that they don’t crave for more. “Once you are mindful of what you are eating, your appetite also shrinks, and then you don’t crave food as much,” she adds.
Why is overcoming an indiscipline lifestyle important?
“People with long standing diabetes should understand that only medications will not bring down blood glucose levels, and they should also have a disciplined lifestyle,” says Dr Chakraborty. He adds that discipline is a state of mind that must be developed gradually, and things cannot change in a single day. Because their glucose levels do not come down in the first few days, one might get frustrated and lose all motivation. This could also lead to diabetic depression and then it becomes extremely difficult for them to manage their blood glucose levels. People with diabetes should form new habits and start slow. “They should make sure that they’re consistent with it, at least for 21-25 days to ensure that they are able to get into the habit of managing their diet,” says Kulkarni.
Dr Chakraborty explains that people with diabetes should understand that it is just a different way of life that can be managed. “Someone that controls their blood sugar levels in the initial 15 years using minimum medications does not usually have long term complications,” he adds.
“You were accustomed to one way of life; this is a different way of life which will teach you discipline. Once you are disciplined, diabetes will do you no harm,” says Dr Chakraborty. For discipline, Kulkarni quotes from Stephen Covey’s book, “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People”, where he talks about the fact that one must begin with the end in mind — ‘If you’re very clear of your goal, then naturally whatever is going to help you move closer to the goal is what you need to do. And whatever you feel is going to push you away from the goal you need to get rid of.’
Dr Chakraborty believes that every person with diabetes going through these situations should not shy away from opening up to family, friends and also must seek expert advice, if required.
He emphasizes, “Unless their mental health is good, sugar levels will not come down.”
Takeaways
- Diabetes, its diagnosis, and complications can cause one to feel guilty.
- It is important to cope with diabetes guilt as it can also lead to depression and other complications.
- One should also follow a disciplined lifestyle so they can manage diabetes and its related complications in the long run.
- Every person with long term diabetes should go to a mental health professional to help them manage their blood sugar levels.
